The Bullied Man

Who has suffered the most from bullies?

Have you ever known someone that has been bullied?  Have you been bullied?  Are you currently being bullied?  Have you ever wondered if anyone really understands what you are going through?

There is someone that understands because he was the most bullied man in history.  The bullied man suffered more from bullies than anyone else.  The bullied man knows what you are going through because he went through the same things.

The most bullied man ever is the Man of Truth (Yeshua HaMashiach aka Jesus Christ).

The Man of Truth was physical abused by bullies like no one else.  He was whipped by bullies (Matthew 27:26).  He was punched by bullies (John 19:3).  He was beaten down by bullies (Matthew 26:67).  He was treated cruelly by bullies (Matthew 27:29-30).  He was put in unimaginable pain by bullies (John 19:16-18). He was killed by bullies (Mark 15:37).

The Man of Truth was verbally abused by bullies like no one else. He was slandered as a glutton and a drunkard by bullies (Luke 7:34).  He was falsely accused of wrong doing to the authorities by bullies (Luke 23:2-4).  He was spoken of as evil by bullies (Matthew 12:24).

The Man of Truth was humiliated by bullies like no one else.  He was mocked while being abused by bullies (Mark 14:65).  Bullies made fun of him (Luke 22:64-65).  He was spat upon by bullies (Matthew 27:30).  He was stripped of all of his dignity and all of his clothes by bullies (Matthew 27:35).  His weakness was made a public spectacle by bullies (John 19:16-18). He was treated like a common criminal (Matthew 27:38).  He was mocked while he died from their abuse (Matthew 27:39-43).  He was even mocked by those that were dying (Matthew 27:44).  He was made to feel like a worm instead of a man (Psalm 22:6).

The Man of Truth knows the social isolation that comes from bullies.  He was reject by the very people that he tried to help (John 1:11).  Nothing he did was good enough to gain the respect of those in his own hometown (Mark 6:1-4).  In fact, the religious people of his hometown were the first to bully him (Luke 4:28-29).  He was handed over to bullies by his friend (Matthew 26:48-50).  He was abandoned by his friends when the bullying began (Matthew 26:56).  His closest friend denied even knowing him for fear of the bullies (Matthew 26:69-74).

The Man of Truth knows the helplessness that comes from being bullied.  He was not able to get any relief from the government authorities because they were some of the bullies (Luke 23:11).  He was not able to gain comfort from the religious professionals because they were behind the bullying (Matthew 27:1).  He could not get any help from his friends because they ran away from the bullies (Mark 14:50).  Those that should have protected him from the bullies only cried out for him to be further bullied (John 19:13-15).  Even the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) did not help him (Mark 15:34).

The Man of Truth knows what it is like to be the bullied man. He knows what you are going through because he felt what you are feeling so he can help you endure being bullied (Hebrews 4:14-16).

How did the Man of Truth responded to being the bullied man?

He showed us how to deal with a bully even though he felt the same temptations that we feel when we are bullied. He did not retaliate when he was hit by bullies (John 18:22-23). Instead he prayed for the bullies to be forgiven (Luke 23:33-34).  He trusted the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) for his eternal deliverance (Matthew 27:43).  He entrusted Him with vengeance (Luke 23:28-30).

How did that response to being bullied work out for the Man of Truth?

The Father of Truth has forgiven every bully that repented.  Every Jewish bully that repented was forgiven (Acts 5:30-31).  Every Gentile bully that repented was forgiven (Acts 11:17-18).  Every bully that repented was forgiven (Acts 10:34-35).

The Father of Truth delivered and exalted the Man of Truth for enduring the bullying.

The Father of Truth raised him from the dead (Acts 4:10).  The Man of Truth has been exalted to the highest position (Acts 2:32-36). He has been given the only name by which people can be saved (Acts 4:11-12).  He was given a name that is above all names which everyone will have to bow to in total surrender (Philippians 2:8-10).  He will reign over all the Earth (Revelation 19:13-16).

The Father of Truth took vengeance on those that bullied the Man of Truth.

The Jewish bullies were bullied back by the Father of Truth (Luke 21:22-24).  Their capital city was destroyed in 70 AD (Matthew 23:36-38).  Their temple was destroyed in 70 AD (Luke 21:5-6).  Their place, Jerusalem and the Temple, were wiped off the face of the Earth in 70 AD and their nation, Judaea, was wiped off the face of the Earth in 135 AD by the Gentile bullies that had helped them bully the Man of Truth (John 11:48).

The Gentile bullies were also bullied back by the Father of Truth. They too suffered for bullying the Man of Truth - especially Pilate (Matthew 27:17-19).  They suffered to a lesser degree because they did not know His will (Luke 12:47-48).  They were not as responsible as the Jewish bullies (John 19:10-12).  Still they suffered constant internal and external conflicts that culminated in many of the Gentile bullies being killed in the Great Revolt when Jerusalem was destroyed in 70 AD and the Bar Kochba War when Judaea was destroyed in 135 AD along with great numbers that died from famines, earthquakes and plagues (Matthew 24:6-8).

Every bully that did not repent suffered rather they were a Jew or a Gentile (Romans 2:8-11).

So why the Man of Truth chose to become the bullied man?

If he had not been bullied then he would have lived alone in the House of Truth (John 12:23-25).  He was bullied to draw us to live with him in the House of Truth (John 12:32-33).  He endured the bullying to gain spending eternity with us in the House of Truth (Hebrews 12:2-3).

Now it is up to you to decide if you want to spend eternity with him by coming into the House of Truth.  The Man of Truth was raised from the dead after he was bullied so that you could come into the House of Truth (Romans 4:23-25).  Come into the House of Truth by submitting to the Man of Truth in total surrender because you believe that the Father of Truth raised him from the dead (Romans 10:9).

Come into the House of Truth.

How To Deal With A Bully

What is the best way to deal with a bully?

When I was six years old the bully in our neighborhood hit me.  I decided to deal with the bully in the same that I had seen my dad deal with bullies.  So I hit him back and made sure that he regretted hitting me.  It seemed like how to deal with a bully.

This set off a chain of events resulting in a sort of blood feud between his family and our family.  When the bully and his brothers ganged up on me and beat me up it set off a chain of events that ended with my mother moving us to the farm in Arkansas where her family lived and my parents getting divorced.

I hated my parents being divorced more than anything in the world.  I blamed myself for the divorce because I was not being tough enough to deal with those bullies so that they stopped bullying people.  I also blamed that family of bullies for what happened to my family and it made me angry ever time I thought about them.  I wanted to know how to deal with a bully.

My hero at the time was Batman because he beat up bullies and sent them to jail. No matter how big or how many bullies he had to fight at once he always managed to subdue them.  These bullies were always part of a sort family of criminals that was headed by a father figure that was the main villain (like Joker) and he always managed to take out that bully as well.  He protected others from bullies and never backed down from a bully.  Bullies were afraid of Batman.  Batman terrorized the bullies that terrorized other people.  Batman seemed to know how to deal with a bully.

As I read more and more Batman comics I started noticing a flaw in how Batman dealt with bullies.  He would hand the bullies over the police who when then incarcerate them - usually in Arkham for the main villains.  Then it all fell apart.  Sooner or later they would break out of Arkham or prison and be back to terrorizing innocent people.  It seemed that the authorities did not know how to deal with a bully.

I also found out in real life that going to the authorities in my school was often a useless way to deal with a bully. Whenever I got in a fight when a bully began picking on me at school I would get in trouble with the authorities for fighting.  When I told the authorities so they could handle things instead (as they had said that I should do) then they generally did nothing to stop the bullies from picking on anyone.  They basically did not want to upset the wrong people in the community.  So they wanted those that were picked on by the bullies to just take it without upsetting anyone else.  It seemed that they did not know how to deal with a bully.

Then one day I read a Human Target comic book.  This hero would either disguise himself to look like someone that a villain was trying to kill or he would draw their attention to him instead of their intended victim, so the intended victim could escape.  I started doing the same thing at school so that the bullies would pick on me instead of some of the smaller kids.

Eventually their harassment would set me off so much that I lost all control and either hurt someone or broke something in a fit of rage.  Usually this behavior would scare everyone in school and they would lay off bullying for a while after that.  However, I could not always protect everyone from every bully so this did not seem like how to deal with a bully.

I also became quite proficient at hurting these bullies back in other ways.  I became very mean with my mouth and knew how to say the most hurtful thing at just the right moment to cause them the most emotional pain possible.  I also would irritate them in front of their girlfriends.  They would usually react the same way that they always had.  Most of the time their girlfriends would stop feeling safe around them after that and break up with them.  I made good grades with great ease and made sure that they felt they were really stupid.   Still, no matter how much I hurt them back they still persisted in bullying me and other people.  This was not obviously not how to deal with a bully.

Then one day my Uncle Ken took us out to the ponds around the farm with some guns.  He told us that we were going to kill off as many water moccasins as possible.  We always had lots of water moccasins around our ponds but they never seemed to do any harm.  I loved snakes so I started to protest against killing the water moccasins.  I asked why we were killing the water moccasins.  He explained that they were poisonous and could bite someone.  I pointed out that anytime we got near them they took off like a rocket into the water to escape.  He said that they could bite one of the cows or calves and kill it.  I asked him if anyone he knew had ever had their livestock bitten and killed by a water moccasin.  He said that he had not known of this actually occurring but the only way to be sure to protect the cattle was to kill off the water moccasins.  I started to protest further but he was getting a little put out with my persistence.  So, he basically said that somethings just needed killing and that was the end of the discussion.  So we went around and shot all of the water moccasins we could find.

It seemed to me that if the best way to deal with water moccasins that might hurt innocent cattle was to kill them off, then perhaps the best way to deal with bullies that did hurt innocent people was to kill them off.  If Batman had killed them off then they would not be able to escape Arkham or prison to further terrorize people.  It seemed that some people just needed killing.

As time went on my anger at bullies in general was growing into hatred.  I tried not to hate bullies, because I knew that I was not supposed to hate people.  Then my grandfather died and things went really dark for me.  Grandpa was the pillar of our family and he kept the rest of us in line somehow.  Without his influence the family began to fall apart in so many ways.

I had fought against sudden uncontrollable fits of rage every since my parents had divorced.  I had already branched out into involvement with occult and the like but it seemed like Grandpa somehow restrained me in some manner.  Without his influence or council I started losing a lot of my restraint. I would find myself planning to kill certain bullies at various times.

Then I had read a spy novel where the hero would kill off bad guys by staging accidents.  That seemed like how to deal with a bully to me.  So sometimes when I would get angry at one of the bullies at our school I would plan some accident to kill them off with.  Sometimes I would even practice staging accidents on our farm with person shaped targets.  I'm sure this alarmed Uncle Ken and Granny.

Over time I began to have nightmares where I abducted some of these bullies, killed them in some horribly painful way and then buried them deep in the woods. I had learned enough from my father and the Boy Scouts that I could take nothing but a knife with me and camp in the woods for a week .  (My brother David did not even need to take a knife with him.  He could make one from flint.)  I had worked hard on the farm and was stronger than I looked.  If they had been too heavy to carry then I knew how to use an axe.

My anger had turned into full blown hatred by this time.  I not only wanted to kill certain bullies as painfully as possible but I also hoped that Hell was real so that their suffering would never end.

However there was one insurmountable obstacle to all of my plans - praying grandmothers.

Sometimes after being harassed enough and hearing of bullies harassing enough innocent people with no hope of relief from the authorities I would just decide that I had to take immediate action.  Whenever this would occur a  kind and gentle voice would talk me out of killing any bullies.  The kind and gentle voice would point out all of the innocent people that I would hurt like some of the sisters of the bullies who were always kind to me.  The kind and gentle voice would tell me that I would get caught and that I would bring shame to my family.  The kind and gentle voice said that this was not how to deal with a bully.

I especially remember being talked out of my plan to cause an accident when I learned that a group of bullies were going camping together on Deer Day.  Although they were allegedly hunting deer everyone knew that they were really just skipping a day of school to go out into the woods and get drunk.  This seemed almost too good to be true.  I knew where they were going and that there would be plenty of alcohol that could "accidentally" get knocked into the fire while they were stone cold drunk.  I figured that they would die in the infernal and all evidence of my involvement would burn up with them.

Then the kind and gentle voice reminded me that another guy was going with them who had stood between me and one of the bullies who had been minded to beat me up.  I certainly did not want him to get hurt so I decided against the whole plan.

There were a few times when I was taken over in a fit of rage so badly that the kind and gentle voice could not talk me out trying to go ahead and kill certain bullies.  However, talking was not the only way the one behind that voice had to keep me from doing what I saw as how to deal with a bully.

Sometimes my car would break down when I was in one of these fits of rage and just not start.  An hour later when I had cooled down and help had arrived my car would start without any explanation.  Then it would work fine for weeks until another episode occurred.

Then there was one bully at my job who threatened to beat me up after work.  There was a large chef knife that was being thrown away so I hid it behind a wall by the dumpster.  After work, I went out by the dumpster and place my left hand on the hilt of the knife behind the wall where it could not be seen.  I was waiting for the bully to hit me so I could claim that I grabbed the discarded knife and stabbed him in self-defense.  The bully started to walk towards me and then suddenly stopped.  His face turned white.  I could tell that he was scared even though he still trying to talk like he was real tough.  I do not know if he saw an angel behind me or he was warned by the kind and gentle voice to not come near me or he really did not want to actually get in a fight or what.  Whatever the reason the prayers of my grandmothers were answered once again.

The last time I went into such a fit of rage was against this same bully.  That time I was so engulfed in rage that I did not care if we both were killed.  When we got out of Farmington and onto the stretch of US 62 that went into Prairie Grove I started to speed up as if I was going to pass him on the highway.  My plan was get next to him and push him off the road preferably into a telephone pole or the Illinois River.  However, he just kept driving faster and faster so that I could not get my car next to his.  By the time we got near the city limits of Prairie Grove we were going about 100 miles an hour which was a fast as my car would go.  I suddenly came to my senses and asked myself what was I thinking.  I slowed way down and felt very embarrassed about the whole thing.  My praying grandmothers had prevailed once again.

That incident really scared me.  The weight of the guilt and pain of not being tough enough to keep those bullies from destroying my family just never ended.  The anger and hatred of bullies just never seem to stop growing.  I could see that sooner or later I was going to kill someone or myself or maybe both.   I hated what I had become.   I cried to God to make me different inside and to show me how to deal with a bully.

I knew I had to change.  So when someone gave me a Good News translation of the Renewed Covenant (B'rit Chadashah aka New Testamenat) I read the whole thing in one marathon sitting.  Later I read it more slowly again over a period of several days.  I knew if there was any hope for me then it was in this book.

The Book of Truth (The Bible) was like a mirror and I did not like what I saw in it.  However, it also offered hope that I could become the good man that I wanted to be instead of the bad man that I seemed destined to become.  I saw the Man of Truth (Yeshua HaMashiach aka Jesus Christ) turn around people like Saul (Shaul aka Paul) from their hatred.  This book talked about his ability to deliver people from remaining as slaves to their sins (John 8:34-36). They would no more be able to continue in doing wrong than a good tree can bear bad fruit (Matthew 7:16-18).  In fact, it said that people who followed him would be slaves to doing what was right (Romans 6:18). 

This really got to me because I wanted to do what was right but always found myself doing the opposite.  I did not want to live the rest of my in fear of someday killing someone.  I wanted to forgive the bullies because otherwise the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) would not forgive me (Matthew 6:15).   I knew that I needed to change but I just did not have the ability to do so on my own strength (Romans 7:18).  So I went and asked the religious professionals to tell me what I needed to do so that the Man of Truth would change me like he changed Saul (Shaul aka Paul).

Things did not go like I had hoped they would. This idea that the Man of Truth would actually change someone today like he changed Saul (Shaul aka Paul) on the road to Damascus was very different than that what I had heard church people say for my whole life.   According to them Christians were just saved sinners that could not help but continuing in sin.   Yet I found many things in the Renewed Covenant that seemed to plainly say things the opposite of what I had been taught.

Whenever I asked the religious professionals about what I had read in those passages they always said that those passages meant something different than what was plainly written.  They just added to my confusion because they could not even agree on what those passages supposedly really meant instead of what was plainly written.  In short, I found a great conflict between the traditional views of the Baptist and Methodist churches that I grew up with and the contents of the Renewed Covenant.  The Book of Truth had warned me about religious professionals like them although I did not understand it at the time (1 Timothy 6:3-5).

Then I saw the Man of Truth alive and in action when he delivered my cousin from his sins.  I had always believed that he had died on a cross for me and that the Father of Truth had raised him from the dead.  I had went down to an altar when I eight years old in all sincerity to be saved from Hell. 

Yet it was very different when I saw the same Man of Truth that I had read about delivering people from sin in the Renewed Covenant deliver my cousin from his sin.  My mother had read me stories of the Man of Truth in the Children's Bible and I had read about him in the Renewed Covenant but this was different.  I had seen the Man of Truth when I was eight years old in a vision and a few times in my nightmares about the end times but this was different.  My suspicions that the Man of Truth was really still alive and active in the lives of people were suddenly confirmed in an undeniable way.

So I asked my cousin what was missing in my life that was preventing me from being delivered from my sins like he had been.  He said that it was not enough to believe that the Father of Truth was real because even the Spirits of Lies (devils aka demons aka gods aka unclean spirits) believe that (James 2:19).  He said that it was not enough to believe that the Man of Truth died on a cross and rose from the dead because even his enemies knew that (Matthew 28:5-11).  He said that I had to make the Man of Truth the Lord of my life by giving him control of every area of my life to be saved from Hell (Matthew 7:21-23).  He told me that if I did that then the Man of Truth would deliver me from my sins and not just the penalty of my sins (John 8:30-32).

The night that I decided to believe what was written in the Renewed Covenant instead of the religious traditions that many people in church believed was the night that everything changed.  The moment I surrendered control of everything in my life to the Man of Truth was the moment that all hatred for bullies left my life.  It was just like when The Man of Truth had turned Saul  (Shaul aka Paul) from his hatred of the Children of Truth (those who obey the Father of Truth because they love Him) to love for the Children of Truth after Saul (Shaul aka Paul) gave him control of his life (Acts 9:17-21).  The hatred for bullies was pushed out of my heart by the love that the Father of Truth has for bullies because He is love (1 John 4:8).  No one can hate people and also love Him (1 John 4:20).  I was now ready to learn how to deal with a bully.

I started reading the Book of Truth to learn the truth about everything.  The Book of Truth was a lot easier to understand once I had the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) living on the inside of me (1 Corinthians 3:16).  That same kind and gentle voice that talked me out of committing so much evil from the outside was now instructing me from the inside (John 14:26).  There could be no better teacher because I was being taught by the author (2 Peter 1:19-21).  As I read the Book of Truth the Spirit of Truth guided me through it and taught me how to deal with a bully (John 16:13).

I was to do all that I could to not take vengeance on a bully (Romans 12:18).  When I tried to take vengeance myself I was in effect trying to steal from the Father of Truth (Romans 12:19).   Instead I was to let the Father of Truth take vengeance because He has promised to repay every bully for what they have done (Hebrews 10:30).

The Father of Truth can pay them back for their evil in ways that I never could.  He can take away their wealth (2 Chronicles 21:12-14).  He can take away their health (2 Chronicles 21:18).  He can give them constant misery (2 Chronicles 21:15).  He can destroy their family (2 Chronicles 21:16-17).  He can kill off their children (Ezekiel 23:46-47).  He can kill them off (2 Chronicles 21:19).  He can cast them into Hell where their suffering will never end (Luke 12:5).  There is nothing that anyone can do to compete with what He can do.

A bully might escape me but he can never escape the Father of Truth (Psalm 139:8-12).  The bully can hurt me back but he is more powerless against Him than his victims were powerless against the bully (Isaiah 40:17).  The bully has nothing to look forward to except a fearful future (Hebrews 10:31).

However, the Father of Truth takes no delight in destroying bullies (Ezekiel 18:32).  His love for the people that became a bullies is so great that He sacrificed His only begotten Son to save them (John 3:16).  He did not send His Son into the world to destroy bullies but to save them (John 3:17).  He desires for the bullies to repent and be saved (2 Peter 3:9).

In the same way I was to pray for those bullies to be saved (Matthew 5:44).  The Children of Truth are kind even to bullies because they are like their Father (Matthew 5:45).  The Children of Truth are to tell all people, even bullies, to repent so that they can be saved (Mark 16:15-16).

This is not to say that one should allow a bully to carry out their evil unopposed.  The strong are supposed to defend the weak so we should act when we see a bully attacking someone (Romans 15:1).  We can talk to the bully in a kind and gentle voice to diffuse the situation (Proverbs 15:1).  We can refuse to fight back even after the bully has hit us (Matthew 5:39).  The Man of Truth told us to get away from bullies instead of fighting when we can (Matthew 10:23).   We can avoid going where they are at just like he did (John 7:1).  The Father of Truth gave us authorities who are supposed to be a terror to bullies and we can always go to them if necessary (Romans 13:3-4).  In any case it is better to be wronged than to do what is wrong (1 Corinthians 6:6-8). It is one thing to defend yourself and others from a bully when you are backed into a corner but it is quite a different thing to seek to destroy the bullies afterwards.

So in short you show love to them instead of hate (Luke 6:27).  You do this by avoiding a fight with a bully if at all possible, giving the authorities a chance to rein in the bully, handing the bully over to the Father of Truth so He can deal with him as He sees fit and praying that the bully repents.  That is how to deal with a bully.

You might be wondering how dealing with bullies like this has worked out for me.  Most importantly it changed me into the good man that I always wanted to be (Galatians 5:22-23).  The truth is that I do not know what has happened to most of those bullies but I hope that they all come into the House of Truth.  I have been told by friends and family that live in the area where I grew up that several of those bullies died in accidents - actual accidents - while I was very far away.  I hope that they had came into the House of Truth before that happened.

If you are a bully then I am pleading with you to stop hurting yourself by bullying others.  You might not even live out half of your days (Psalm 55:23). You will be repaid for your bullying if you continue (Romans 2:5-6).

You might be a bully because you are burdened down with the heaviness of pain deep in your soul.  If so then come into the House of Truth by surrendering control of your life to the Man of Truth and you will find rest for your soul (Matthew 11:28-30).  He will not reject you if you come into the House of Truth (John 6:37).

If you hate bullies then I am pleading with you to stop doing so because you are hurting yourself.  Hatred of bullies will make you blind so that you cannot see the truth (1 John 2:11).  If you hate bullies then you are guilty of murder according to the Father of Truth and His life is not in you (1 John 3:15).  The Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) is the father of every murderer (John 8:44).  You will not inherit the Kingdom of the Father of Truth in eternity if you do not let go of your hate (Galatians 5:19-21).  You will have your part in the Lake of Fire with the Father of Lies (Revelation 21:8).

So I am pleading with you to come into the House of Truth instead.  It is not about what someone else has done to you but rather what the Man of Truth did for you (1 Peter 3:18).  He will give you the strength to forgive the bullies if you will come into the House of Truth (Philippians 4:13).  He will fill your heart with love instead of hate when you come into the House of Truth (Romans 5:3-5).

This is not about anyone being strong enough to change on their own.  This is about the Man of Truth being strong enough to change you so you can come into the House of Truth (Romans 5:6-8).  He has not changed and still delivers those that come into the House of Truth from their sins (Hebrews 13:8).  Your part is to come into the House of Truth by submitting to him in total surrender because you believe that the Father of Truth raised him from dead (Romans 10:9).

Come into the House of Truth.

The Bully Across The Street

What is the heaviest thing that anyone can carry?

When I was six years old a bully lived across the street from us in Hazelwood, Missouri - a suburb of Saint Louis.  This bully relied on nobody fighting back.  He came over and hit me which was a mistake for him.  I hit him back hard as my dad had taught me which caught him off guard.   Then I also pushed him and he fell into our garbage can in a sitting position and could not get out.  So I pushed over the trash can and rolled it down the street with him in it.  It finally crashed into something and he got loose.  Then he went home crying to his mother.

His father came over after work and threatened me in front of my dad which was an even bigger mistake.  My dad went over to his house to tell him to keep his son out of our yard.  Then their dad did something really stupid - he tried to hit my dad to intimidate him.  The kids across the street were bullies because the apples had not fallen far from the tree.

My dad was not near as large as their dad but he could lick his weight in wild cats.  My dad had no tolerance for bullies and dealt with them the only way he knew how. When it was all said and done my dad came home and their dad went out for medical treatment.

That night my dad told my mom to go to the bus stop with me for the next few days just in case the bully thought about starting trouble.

The next morning my mom did not want the neighbors to see her until she looked her best so she sent me to the bus stop alone.  This time the bully was there with his two older brothers and they decided to take revenge.  The bully did not dare face me alone after his last encounter. So like the coward that he was he had his two older brothers each grab one of my arms while he proceeded to hit me in the stomach several times until the bus came around the corner.  I then threw up before getting on the bus.

When I got on the bus the bully sat between his two older brothers for protection.  I don't remember ever seeing him without one of his older brothers nearby after that.   After all, bullies are really just cowards.

When my father got home he heard from a neighbor about the entire incident and he was furious.  My mother and him got into a big fight because she had not went down to the bus stop with me like he had told her to do.

A few days later my mother pulled me out of class and before I knew it I was on my way to Arkansas.    I arrived at the farm in Arkansas where my Uncle Ken and my maternal grandparents lived. Soon my parents were divorced and I felt like it was all my fault.  I was angry at myself for not being tougher and allowing the family of bullies to beat me up.   But I was even more angry at that family of bullies.  It seemed to me that they had destroyed my family and that they needed to pay for doing so.

This was one wound that time could not heal for the pain of growing up divorced was a constant reminder.

While my father sent the money that the court had ordered in the divorce decree it was never enough to meet our needs.  My brothers and I worked hard just to help provide things like food and clothing while other kids were playing.  In so many ways much of our childhood was stolen from us.

My mother worked as a nurse, sometimes two shifts, for weeks at a time.  She would also work at a restaurant.  In many ways I had lost my mother as well as my father in the divorce.

Life was so incredibly hard at times that we just broke down and cried until we could cry no more.

The guilt I felt for letting myself getting beat up by the bully across the street was probably the only thing that was greater than the anger that I felt against the bully across the street for destroying my family and making us all so miserable.

Then things took some more turns for the worst.  My mother sued my father over missed child support payments that my stepmother had swore to him that she had sent but had really not sent.  My mother got some sort of protective order against him and he could not come into the state of Arkansas.  So I did not see him for three years.

During that time my grandfather died.  This was almost for me as bad as the divorce.  Once again, it seemed that my entire world was destroyed.  I just wanted to die sometimes but other times I only wanted to live so I could get revenge.  My anger at the bully across the street had grown into hatred.

I never forgot about the bully across the street who I blamed for destroying my family.  His name was etched in my mind because I planned to hunt down his entire family of bullies and turn his mother into a childless widow one day.  As far as I was concerned they were monsters that needed killing.

When I graduated high school I still remembered the bully that had lived across the street in Hazelwood.  I still hated him and wanted him to pay for what he had done to my family.  However I was too busy working sixty hour weeks while taking Chemical Engineering at the University of Arkansas to do much about it at that time.  Still he was at the top of my list of people that just needed killing.

The family of bullies across the street could not have known about my plans but if they had known them then still would have had nothing to worry about as long as my grandmothers kept praying.  Their prayers kept me from ever having the means and opportunity for revenge.

The thing is that I was terribly conflicted inside.  I really did not want to kill anyone because I had gone to church enough to know that killing people was wrong and I wanted to do what was right.  I knew that the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) wanted me to forgive him for what he had done to me.  I wanted to forgive the bully across the street in Hazelwood because a grudge is just too heavy to carry.   I knew that I needed to change but I just could not do it. 

Then someone gave me a Good News translation of the Renewed Covenant (B'rit Chadashah aka New Testament) and I read it in one marathon sitting.  Later I read it more slowly again over a period of several days.  I almost never read a book twice because once is enough for me. However this book was different because this book was reading me back at the same time.

I could see myself as I really was in the pages of the Book of Truth (The Bible). I learned that in the eyes of the Father of Truth my hatred of the bully across the street was the same as murder (1 John 3:15).  I learned that He demanded that I turn completely from my hatred of the bully across the street if I wanted my sins to not be remembered (Acts 3:19).  I learned that I had serve the Man of Truth (Yeshua HaMashiach aka Jesus Christ) wholeheartedly everyday of my life and not just a few hours a week out of religious obligation (Revelation 3:14-16).

I had to quit carrying this grudge for it is the heaviest thing that anyone can carry.  If I did not forgive the bully across the street then the Father of Truth would not forgive me (Matthew 6:15).  The price of carrying a grudge is too high of a price to pay to ever be worth it.

The only trouble was that I did not know how to get the strength to let go of my hatred.  The churches I grew up in taught that a man could be forgiven for his sins but he could never be free from his sins.  I cried out for the Father of Truth to show me what to do.

Then I saw the Man of Truth do in the life of my cousin what I needed him to do in my life.  After verifying that this change was real and not just some act, I asked my cousin what happened to bring about this change in his life.

He said that he had given complete control of his life to the Man of Truth.  He told me that the only way to bring about this kind of change was for me to make the Man of Truth the Lord of my life by giving him control of every area of my life .  He told me that no one is strong enough to make these kind of changes on their own.  He told me, that it was not a matter of me being strong enough to change, but rather a matter of letting the Man of Truth change me, because he was strong enough to do so. 

A few days later I did the same thing that my cousin had done and I got the same results.  When I surrendered every bit of control of my life to the Man of Truth then my anger and hatred for the bully across the street came to an immediate end.  In fact, I wanted to hunt him down and tell him how he could also be saved from Hell but I did not know where he lived.

Then I started reading the Book of Truth every moment that I had an opportunity.  I was starved for the truth and I wanted to learn the truth about everything so I could grow in truth (1 Peter 2:2).  This time many more things in the Book of Truth made sense because I was being guided into all truth by the Spirit of Truth (John 16:13).  It was different once I had the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) living on the inside of me instead talking to me from the outside (Romans 8:9).

I learned the truth about my parents divorce.  It was learning the truth by continuing to read the Book of Truth that set me free from the pain caused by the divorce of my parents and the bully across the street (John 8:31-32).

The truth is that I was not responsible for my family being destroyed by divorce.  I was a six year old kid that did not have the training or strength to fight off another six year old kid along with his eight year old and ten year old brothers at the same time.  This lie that I was to blame had been told to me by a Spirit of Lies (devils aka demons aka gods aka unclean spirit) and I did not know any better than to just believe it.

I had also listened to their lies about the bully across the street in Hazelwood.  The truth is that the bully across the street was also just a six old kid.  He was not responsible for destroying my family with divorce.  That six year old kid did not mean to break my heart by taking my dad away from me, who was my entire world at the time.  That six year old kid was probably bullied all the time in his own house, considering that his dad and two older brothers were both bullies.  That six year old kid was undoubtedly acting the same way that he had seen his father act, when he hit me for no good reason, just as I was reacting to his actions in the same way that I had seen my father react to bullies.  He was not some monster that needed killing.  He was someone made in the image of the Father of Truth (Genesis 9:6).  The Man of Truth had died to save him from his sins just like me (Romans 5:8).

The truth is my parents were the responsible for their own actions and will have to answer to the Father of Truth for them (Romans 14:12).

My father, and the father of the kid across the street, should have worked out a peaceful solution instead of deciding to settle matters with their fists (Romans 12:18).  They should have showed me, and the kid across the street, how to live in peace with our neighbors, instead of starting some sort of blood feud like the Hatfields and McCoys (Hebrews 12:14).

My father could have given a soft answer and turned away the wrath of their father (Proverbs 15:1).  My father could have called the police, and let them handle it, instead of taking matters into his own hands, if their father hit him (Romans 13:3-5).  My father should not have lost his temper when he got home (Proverbs 29:22).  He should not have made my mother feel that she and her children were not safe in their own house (Ephesians 5:25).

My mother should not have put my father on edge all the time by nagging, and otherwise trying to manipulate him, to get her own way all the time (Proverbs 19:13).   My mother should have went down to the bus stop with me like my father said, because he was the head of the house (Ephesians 5:24).  She should have been less concerned with what the neighbors would think, and more concerned with obeying the Father of Truth (Proverbs 29:25). 

The truth is that they did not have any problems that they could not have worked out.  The Book of Truth said, that when they got divorced it was because they had dealt treacherously with each other (Jeremiah 3:20).  The Man of Truth said, that the only reason why my parents got a divorce instead of repenting and reconciling was the hardness of their hearts (Matthew 19:8).  Our lives had been made so hard because they had chose to live in rebellion to the commandments of the Father of Truth (Proverbs 13:15).

The truth is that my parents acted the way that they did for the same reasons that I acted the way that I had - they had never surrendered control of their lives to the Man of Truth.

My father got into some sort of stupid fight with some preacher before I was born, and decided to never go to church again.  He could not let go of his grudge, and it has cost him dearly.  He has suffered so many things that he could have avoided, if he had only surrendered to the Man of Truth, instead of being angry at all preachers, over what one preacher said or did.  I do not know what the fight was about, and he might not even remember, but the cost of keeping this grudge has been too high of a price to pay.

My mother went to church every Sunday morning but she did not base her decisions throughout the week on the teachings of the Man of Truth.  She called the Man of Truth her Lord, but she did not do the will of the Father of Truth (Matthew 7:21).  She called the Man of Truth her Lord, but she did not do what he said (Luke 6:46).  She believed in the Father of Truth, but so do the Spirits of Lies (James 2:19).

She might not have even known that she needed to submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender, if the religious professionals she asked to were like the ones who I asked.  They probably told her, that all she needed to do was admit that she was a sinner, and ask for forgiveness.  Asking the Man of Truth to fix your life without giving him complete control of your life, is like asking a mechanic to fix your car while you continue to drive it.

Since my parents, and the parents of the kid across the street in Hazelwood, had not surrendered control of their lives to the Man of Truth, then they could not have possibly raised us to walk in the ways of the Father of Truth.  Things would have been a lot different for all of us, if they had raised us up in the admonition of the Father of Truth (Ephesians 6:4).

 They could have taught us all of the time about how to live in line with the Word of Truth (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).  We would have not departed living in line with the Word of Truth, if they had done this (Proverbs 22:6).   

In the worst case, I and the kid across the street would have both gotten a whipping for fighting to drive this evil from our lives, and that would have been that (Proverbs 22:15).  The kid across the street and I might have even became best friends.

The Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) was the one behind all the lies that caused so much misery, when we believed them (John 8:44). He came to steal the joy, that we could have known by living together in the House of Truth, to tempt me to kill the kid across the street, and to destroy my family (John 10:10).

The Father of Lies is the one who sent the Spirits of Lies to tempt me, the kid across the street, my parents, and his parents, into doing the wrong things (1 Corinthians 7:5).   He is the one who blinded all of us from seeing that we could been saved from all of this misery, by submitting to the Man of Truth in total surrender (2 Corinthians 4:3-4).  My parents, and the family of the kid across the street, were never the root cause of the misery that ensued (Ephesians 6:12).  

The Man of Truth is preparing a place of all who will come into the House of Truth, including the kid across the street (John 14:2).  Today, I hope that the kid across the street has come into the House of Truth through the saving knowledge of the Man of Truth (1 Timothy 2:3-5).

If the kid across the street is reading this, then I hope that you will come into the House of Truth by submitting to the Man of Truth in total surrender, because you believe that the Father of Truth raised him from the dead (Romans 10:8-11).  I would love for you to once again live across the street, not in Hazelwood, but in the city that the Father of Truth is building for those who come into the House of Truth (Hebrews 11:10).

Come into the House of Truth!