The Monster Within
What is the most terrifying monster?
Many people dressed up as monsters each Halloween. There are zombies, vampires, Frankenstein, werewolves, ghosts and the like. People sometimes argue over which of these is scariest but the truth is that none of them are real. So they cannot compare to a human monster like a child molester or Hitler.
People can sometimes escape these human monsters or at least avoid their presence for periods of time. The terror of these human monsters will always come to an end. So they cannot compare to the monster within.
There is no escaping a monster that lives inside of you. Its presence is always there. Its terror never ends. You never get any rest from the monster within because it is with you day and night. Every waking moment it is there trying to get you to do things that you despise doing and know will only bring you trouble later. Every night it will haunt your dreams so much that you dread going to sleep. There is no rest from the torment of the monster within.
I have been terrorized by the monster within.
The monster within was constantly trying to take control of my actions and haunting my dreams. There was no rest from it and it would always inevitably wear down my resistance. Sooner or later it would take me over from the inside.
I would have violent fits of rage that would spring up suddenly for no really good reason. I would feel my body grow stronger and I just seemed to grow larger like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. Like the Hulk I would go into a rampage of destruction breaking stuff and hurting people. Then suddenly it would be over.
I was always sorry later for the damage that I had done. My sorrow was genuine and my remorse was deep. Still I knew that no matter how hard I tried the monster within would always eventually take over again.
The monster within cause me lived in constant fear but other people did not really understand it. Some bullies thought that I feared them but the truth is that I was terrified that one day I would lose complete control and kill one of them.
I was even more afraid of how I would act afterwards. Perhaps I would be plunged into deep remorse and kill myself. Perhaps I would be caught and end up on death row. Most terrifying of all was the prospect of getting away with killing one bully and then turning into a serial killer of bullies.
When I was about twelve my mother sent me to a psychologist to help me overcome the monster within. Miss Kim met with me every week at the Presbyterian church after school for months. She did all she could but she was no match for the monster within.
She did give me one useful technique though and that was to chop wood when I felt the monster within trying to take over. Sometimes I would split five ricks of wood in a single setting. Of course the entire time I imagined that the logs were the heads of bullies but at least no one got hurt. I would be exhausted when I was done chopping wood but I was still not free from the monster within.
I had a new terror when I got to the age where I was becoming interested in girls. I was afraid that if I became involved with any girl that she might set off the monster within. I was terrified that I might hurt or kill a girl that I deeply cared about. So I did everything that I could to push girls away. I insulted them, disrespected them and did everything that I could to make myself unattractive to them. I had to protect them from the monster within.
However there was one girl that I was absolutely crazy about. This created a terrible conflict for me because I wanted her to like me as much I liked her but I also wanted to protect her. Then one day she told me that she thought I was sweet. I knew what had to do and I did it. I went out of my way to drive her away from me. Finally she told me that she no longer like me even a little bit anymore. It broke my heart but I knew that I had kept her from being harmed by the monster within.
Then suddenly I had a period without any nightmares or fits of rage. It seemed as if the monster within had left for some reason. However, it did not stay away long. Then suddenly one day I could feel that it was back. When it came back it seemed as if it had brought along some of its buddies. Now I was no longer just afraid of killing someone in a fit of rage but also started becoming involved in all kinds of sexual perversion, doing things that could only be described as sick and twisted, and dabbling in occult activities like seances and astral projection. I became obsessed with hunting out other boys that were alienated from their parents and getting them interested in the occult to some degree through role playing games.
Every since the monster within had moved back in with his buddies I had thought about killing myself to protect others from the monster within. I attempted to do so several times but I would always hear this kind and gentle voice that would talk me out of doing so. The kind and gentle voice would ask me if I really wanted to hurt my mother and other relatives by killing myself. The kind and gentle voice would tell me if I did this then I would end up in Hell with no chance of escape. The kind and gentle voice also gave me a reason to hope that I could be the good man that I wanted to be and truly be free from the monster within.
You see the monster within could never take me over completely because there was something that it was no match for - praying grandmothers.
Their prayers were the reason that I heard the kind and gentle voice that put to silence the monster within when it spoke. They probably never knew all of the evil that their prayers had prevented me from doing. They must have been tempted to quit praying when I just seemed to get worse and worse but they persevered. They stood in the gap between me and the monster within.
They could not have known it but events were being set in motion to bring about the answer to their prayers.
I had a bed with a built in book shelf at the head of the bed. My grandfather had given me a Bible with a zippered cover that I kept on that book shelf. I had zippered it shut when he died and had not read it since. Then one afternoon when I was taking a nap I was awakened by a loud thud. That Bible was laying on my floor unzipped and opened to a passage with a list of death penalty sins in the Law of Truth (Torah aka The Law). I looked at the passage when I went to pick it up and I knew that I was guilty of more than one of those sins. I knew that I deserved death for what I had done.
However, knowing the penalty of my sins was not enough to keep me from continuing in them. I was still a slave to the monster within.
Then someone gave me a Good News translation of the Renewed Covenant (B'rit Chadashah aka New Testament) and I read all of it in one marathon sitting. Later I read it again over a period of several days. I really did not understand most of it but I did get three things out of it. First I learned that I was a worse sinner than I thought because the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) was not just looking at my actions but at my intentions. (Anyone that wants Him to judge them based on their intentions instead of their actions is lying to themselves about their intentions.) Second I learned that He expected me to end my sins and do what was right instead. Third I learned that the Man of Truth (Yeshua HaMashiach aka Jesus Christ) wanted all of me or none me. He would rather me serve the Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) full time than to serve him part time. My performance of religious duties like going to church each weekend were not of any value unless I lived for him full throttle ever day of the week.
This troubled me greatly. I had tried to turn from doing the wickedness that I did not want to do but I could not seem to stop even though I often cried while doing those things. I wanted to do the things that I knew were good but I kept finding myself not doing them when I had the chance. So I found that I did the evil that I did not want to do and that I did not do the good that I wanted to do. I simply could never be strong enough to conquer the monster within.
Then something happened to my cousin that changed everything. My cousin had been heavily involved in drugs, alcohol, smoking and the like. What I like to call garden variety sins. I had already personally known more than five people that had died from drug related causes. I have always been good at picking out patterns from repeated events so considering the hardness of the drugs he took I did not expect him to live to the age of twenty five.
Then suddenly, in the snap of a finger, he was completely free from all of it. There was no twelve step program and he did not have any withdraws from quitting any of it. It was as if the evil man that he had been was suddenly replaced with the good man that he now was. I knew that something supernatural was going on because no one that has been using heroine for years just gets up one morning and quits cold turkey with no withdraw symptoms. This defied everything that I had been told and experienced but yet the living proof was right there in front of me.
The good news was that he said that what had happened to him could happen to anyone. He told me that the Man of Truth had set him free from his own monster within. He told me that the Man of Truth would do the same for me if I would meet his condition of total surrender. He told me that if I would put the Man of Truth in charge of every area of my life then he would take the place of the monster within. This was not a matter of me somehow being strong enough on my own. This was a matter of the Man of Truth coming to live in me and he being strong enough to overcome the monster within.
For the first time I had a tangible reason for hope of being free from the monster within. However, his explanation contradicted everything that every religious professional I had ever talked to had told me. I had been told that Christians were just sinners saved by grace who were forgiven but still were slaves to a sin nature. They had nineteen hundred years of church tradition to back up their doctrine while my cousin only had his testimony of what the Man of Truth had done for him.
So I watched my cousin to see if it was real and if it would last. I even tempted him to go back to his old ways because I had to know if there was really hope for me. It soon became obvious that there was no going back for my cousin. (This was thirty years ago and he has never went back to any of it since that day. He has truly been set free.)
So on November thirteenth nineteen eighty two, shortly after midnight, I pulled my car over to the side of the road and took the deal. I cried like a baby while I listed each sin that I had committed, or had wanted to commit, while telling the Father of Truth how sorry I was. I told the Man of Truth that I no longer wanted to be in charge of my life and he was in charge of every area of my life from now on. It was total surrender.
My cousin had told me if I would do this then I would be set free by the Man of Truth. The good news is that it was true! In a moment of time, in the twinkling of an eye, Jesus came into my life and I no longer had to fight the monster within. It was suddenly all gone - the fits of murderous rage, the desire to hunt down and kill bullies, the sexual perversion, the pull of the occult on my soul, the sick and twisted acts, the constant thoughts of suicide along with everything else that came from the monster within and his buddies.
Instead I could hear that kind and gentle voice that had talked me out of so many terrible things, including suicide, now talking to me from the inside. (I did not know that this kind and gentle voice was the voice of the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) at the time.) The moment that kind and gentle voice came in was the moment of the total eviction for the monster within.
(The guy that I was giving a ride to when I pulled over must have been pretty freaked out by all of this. He had no idea of what I had done before this or what I been struggling against doing. He did not know about the monster within until that moment. The man that drove him home from that spot was not the same man that had pulled over to the side of the road.)
I had been a man possessed by the monster within but now I am a man possessed by the Man of Truth. I have been set completely and utterly free from the monster within. While I can be exposed to the same temptations on the outside there is no desire to do them on the inside. I feel no more temptation to do those things when I am in the same situations that I was in before then I do to pick up dog poop and eat it when I see it on the ground. I am dead to those things because the Man of Truth lives in me and he is dead to those things. As long as I live a life of total surrender to the Man of Truth then there is no chance of return for the monster within.
The Good News is that the same thing can happen to you. I have known about twenty five people that have had the same experience even if their monster within was different than mine. It does not matter if your monster within is overcoming you so that you commit garden variety sins like fornication or alcoholism or putting on a religious show or less common struggles like being on the road to becoming a serial killer. Anyone who will surrender control of every area of their life to the Man of Truth will be set free from the monster within.
Those of us that have been set free from the monster within are not unique or special in any way. The Book of Truth (The Bible) tells what really happened to those of us that have been set free from the monster within. Now it is time to look at the same events through the lenses of the Book of Truth.
The efforts of Miss Kim and others to help me were ineffective against the monster within because my problem was neither physical nor mental but rather spiritual (Ephesians 6:12).
When there is a monster within there are really have two forces at work to effect the behavior of the person. First of all their spirit lives in a human body that has no desire to do what is right even if their spirit wants to do what is right (Romans 7:18). The flesh wants to do every evil thing under the sun (Galatians 5:19-21).
Second of all there are Spirits of Lies (devils aka demons aka unclean spirits aka gods) that appeal to the nature of their flesh to do wrong just as the Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) tried to tempt the Man of Truth to do wrong by appealing to the nature of his flesh (Matthew 4:1-3).
When someone yields to one of these Spirits of Lies by obeying them in disobeying the Father of Truth then they become slaves to that spirit who can lead them into certain types of sin (John 8:34). This Spirit of Lies can then move in and try to take control of their body by constantly appealing to the nature of their flesh (Romans 6:16). This Spirit of Lies that has moved in is the monster within.
These Spirits of Lies can cause everyone to be afraid of the people they inhabit (Matthew 8:28). The monster within can fill a person with rage so that they hurt other people (Acts 19:14-16).
The monster within can make the person stronger than they are on their own when it gets control (Mark 5:2-4). The monster within will cause them to isolate themselves, live strangely and hurt themselves (Mark 5:5). The monster within will drive them to attempt to commit suicide (Matthew 17:15-18). The Spirits of Lies will cause those that they have completely take over to kill themselves when they have no more ability to resist their influence (Mark 5:11-13).
Some Spirit of Lies can pass on information from other Spirits of Lies to the host person when they move in (Acts 16:16-19). Those that have the monster within will resort to the occult that is filled with other people who are puppets controlled by their own monster within (1 Samuel 28:6-8).
Sometimes the monster within will leave on its own if the conditions are not suiting it for some reason. For example when I chopped wood until I was exhausted whenever I felt the violent fits of rage coming on. However this absence of the monster within will only last for a little while like it did for me. When the monster within comes back and finds that everything has been cleaned up and there is still a vacancy it will move back in with some of its buddies and the person will be worse off than before (Matthew 12:43-45). Since I was still empty inside the monster within was able to move back in with his buddies and make me worse than I was before (Luke 11:24-26). This is why people get clean through some sort of self-effort for a while and then return to their former behavior to only end up even worse off.
People can never be free from the monster within on their own strength. They must be delivered from the terror of the monster within by the Man of Truth (Romans 7:24-25).
When my grandmothers prayed to the Father of Truth for my deliverance their prayers were not in vain because they had been made righteous by the Man of Truth (James 5:16).
Their prayers caused angels to be sent to literally wake me from my sleep with the Book of Truth and opened it to the Law of Truth. If it were not for the Law of Truth then I would not know that I was in bondage to sin through the monster within (Romans 7:7). It was the Law of Truth that made me aware of the true nature of the monster within and that I was deserving of death for giving in to it (Romans 7:8-11). It was the Law of Truth that convicted me of my sin and show me my true condition (Romans 7:12-14).
While I knew what the Law of Truth said was good still it only made me aware of how wretched I really was (Romans 7:22-24). The Law of Truth was powerless to make me able to obey it because my flesh was powerless against the monster within (Romans 8:3).
Since the Law pointed me to the Man of Truth it caused me to seek after deliverance by reading the Renewed Covenant twice (Galatians 3:24).
However, I could not understand what I needed to do because the religious professionals that I had sought out contradicted what I read in the Renewed Covenant in order to maintain their own traditions (Mark 7:9). Their traditions made the Word of Truth ineffective to deliver me because I could not believe what it said while also believing what they said (Mark 7:13). They were religious but they denied the power of the Man of Truth to set people free from continuing in sin so I needed to stay away from them (2 Timothy 3:5). They were powerless over the monster within because they clung to their traditions instead of believing the Word of Truth whereby they could truly know the Man of Truth (Acts 19:13-16).
However, three things were evident.
First, I would be judged on my intentions and not just my actions (Matthew 5:21-22). In the eyes of the Father of Truth hating bullies was no different than murdering bullies (1 John 3:15). Anyone who wants to be judged by their intentions is deceived about the condition of their own heart (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
Second, the Man of Truth demands that I repent and sin no more (John 8:10-11). This is the same thing that His Father demands (Ezekiel 18:21).
Third, the Man of Truth wanted me either serving him full time or serving the Father of Lies full time instead of just playing church on the weekend (Revelation 3:14-16). This was only reasonable since he had given everything at the cross (Romans 12:1).
This troubled me greatly. I found myself unable to do the good things I want to do but instead doing the evil things that I did not want to do because I was still under the control of the monster within (Romans 7:15-17). No matter how hard I try to do good I just ended up doing evil (Romans 7:19-21). The conflict between what I want to do and what I ended up doing when I knew that it would lead to my demise made me miserable (Romans 7:22-24). This kind of double mindedness made me unstable in everything that I did (James 1:8). I was tormented by a constant fear of completely giving in to the monster within because I did not have perfect love (1 John 4:18).
Then I saw proof that the Man of Truth was alive and living in my cousin. The deliverance of my cousin from his own monster within was a supernatural sign from the Father of Truth that I could not deny which made evident His wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:22). The change in my cousin was living proof of the power of the Man of Truth to deliver people from the monster within that I had about read in the Renewed Covenant (2 Corinthians 3:2-4).
My cousin told me that the Man of Truth would set me free from the monster within if I would submit to giving him control of every area of my life in total surrender - which is what it really means to be his disciple (John 8:30-32). If I became his disciple then I would have to put the Man of Truth in front of everyone else and everything else including my very life (Luke 14:26-27). I was told to count the cost before I made such a commitment because it would be of no value unless I was willing to give everything (Luke 14:28-30). I simply would not be accept as his disciple unless I was willing to forsake everything else in total surrender (Luke 14:33-35). Total surrender to the Man of Truth is the only way to be free from the monster within (Romans 6:15-18).
I watched for my cousin to see if he to return to his old ways. He never went back to his old ways because the Man of Truth had really set him free (John 8:34-36).
So I took the deal. The moment I submitted to the Man of Truth in total surrender the monster within became terrified because that Spirit of Lies knew he was coming (Mark 5:6-7). When the Man of Truth came into my life the monster within and its buddies went out (Mark 5:8-10). When I chose total surrender to the Man of Truth I was set free from the monster within (Romans 6:16-18). The Spirit of Truth came in and forced out the monster within (Romans 8:15-17). The perfect love that the Man of Truth had ended the tormenting fear that came from the monster within (1 John 4:17-19).
In that moment I began to truly live instead of just occupying space and sucking air (John 5:24). I became a new man with new desires and all of the desire to do the former things had passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17). I was dead to sin and alive to the Father of Truth (Romans 6:10-12). The Spirit of Truth began changing my thoughts, attitudes, and actions (Galatians 5:22-23). I no longer hated bullies but instead was overwhelmed with concern about telling them how they could be delivered from their own monster within (1 John 3:14).
Just as the monster within had kept me from doing what was pleasing to the Father of Truth so now the Man of Truth keeps me from doing what is pleasing to the Father of Lies (Romans 6:20-22). This is not a matter of me being strong enough on my own to meet the righteous demands of the Law of Truth but of the Spirit of Truth giving me the strength to do so (Romans 8:2-4). No one can do so in their own strength (Romans 8:6-8). It is living a life of total surrender to obey the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) that gives me that strength to live as a Child of Truth (Romans 8:12-14). This causes the Man of Truth to live inside me instead of the monster within (Galatians 2:19-21).
The monster within can only return to someone that is empty inside (Matthew 12:44-45). When I submitted to the Man of Truth in total surrender then the Spirit of Truth came in so that I was no longer empty inside (Romans 8:9-11). That Spirit of Lies cannot return because the Spirit of Truth that lives in me is greater than even the Father of Lies (1 John 4:4).
As long as I continue in total surrender to the Man of Truth by hearing and obeying the Spirit of Truth then I will not return to the behavior that allowed that Spirit of Lies to become the monster within (Galatians 5:16-18).
The Good News is that I am nothing special. It does not matter whether your monster within drives you to an addiction to pornography or alcohol or drugs or putting on a religious show or even becoming a serial killer. It is not about your abilities or your worthiness. It is about the ability and worthiness of the Man of Truth.
He will deliver you from your monster within if you submit to him in total surrender (Matthew 16:24-25). He will make you worthy to participate in his plan like he did Mary Magdalene after he delivered her from her own monster within and its buddies (Luke 8:1-3). He made her so clean that she was the first person that he revealed himself to after his resurrection (Mark 16:9). There is no condemnation for those that submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender (Romans 8:1).
The Father of Truth will deliver anyone from their monster within if they will surrender control of every area of their life to the Man of Truth (Acts 10:34-35). It does not matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile (Romans 2:10-12). Whether or not you are delivered from the monster within depends upon your willingness to submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender (Colossians 3:24-25).
Total surrender will cost you something in this life or maybe even everything in this life. You will lose relationships with other people and maybe even your property (Matthew 19:29). The religious professionals may kick you out of your congregation and persecute you in their religious zeal (John 16:2). You will suffer some type of persecution from other people (2 Timothy 3:12).
However, you should come into the House of Truth and take the deal. What good is for you to keep running your own life just to lose everything that you thought you had gained (Matthew 16:26-27)? If you insist on running your own life then the monster within will bring you to ruin (Mark 8:34-36). The Father of Truth has graciously given you an opportunity to be free from the monster within before it destroys you completely (Romans 6:23). What you lose in this life due to total surrender cannot compare to what you will gain by being free from the monster within (Romans 8:15).
All you need to do to come into the House of Truth where you will be free from the monster within is submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender because you believe that the Father of Truth raised him from the dead (Romans 10:8-10).
Come into the House of Truth.
Many people dressed up as monsters each Halloween. There are zombies, vampires, Frankenstein, werewolves, ghosts and the like. People sometimes argue over which of these is scariest but the truth is that none of them are real. So they cannot compare to a human monster like a child molester or Hitler.
People can sometimes escape these human monsters or at least avoid their presence for periods of time. The terror of these human monsters will always come to an end. So they cannot compare to the monster within.
There is no escaping a monster that lives inside of you. Its presence is always there. Its terror never ends. You never get any rest from the monster within because it is with you day and night. Every waking moment it is there trying to get you to do things that you despise doing and know will only bring you trouble later. Every night it will haunt your dreams so much that you dread going to sleep. There is no rest from the torment of the monster within.
I have been terrorized by the monster within.
The monster within was constantly trying to take control of my actions and haunting my dreams. There was no rest from it and it would always inevitably wear down my resistance. Sooner or later it would take me over from the inside.
I would have violent fits of rage that would spring up suddenly for no really good reason. I would feel my body grow stronger and I just seemed to grow larger like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. Like the Hulk I would go into a rampage of destruction breaking stuff and hurting people. Then suddenly it would be over.
I was always sorry later for the damage that I had done. My sorrow was genuine and my remorse was deep. Still I knew that no matter how hard I tried the monster within would always eventually take over again.
The monster within cause me lived in constant fear but other people did not really understand it. Some bullies thought that I feared them but the truth is that I was terrified that one day I would lose complete control and kill one of them.
I was even more afraid of how I would act afterwards. Perhaps I would be plunged into deep remorse and kill myself. Perhaps I would be caught and end up on death row. Most terrifying of all was the prospect of getting away with killing one bully and then turning into a serial killer of bullies.
When I was about twelve my mother sent me to a psychologist to help me overcome the monster within. Miss Kim met with me every week at the Presbyterian church after school for months. She did all she could but she was no match for the monster within.
She did give me one useful technique though and that was to chop wood when I felt the monster within trying to take over. Sometimes I would split five ricks of wood in a single setting. Of course the entire time I imagined that the logs were the heads of bullies but at least no one got hurt. I would be exhausted when I was done chopping wood but I was still not free from the monster within.
I had a new terror when I got to the age where I was becoming interested in girls. I was afraid that if I became involved with any girl that she might set off the monster within. I was terrified that I might hurt or kill a girl that I deeply cared about. So I did everything that I could to push girls away. I insulted them, disrespected them and did everything that I could to make myself unattractive to them. I had to protect them from the monster within.
However there was one girl that I was absolutely crazy about. This created a terrible conflict for me because I wanted her to like me as much I liked her but I also wanted to protect her. Then one day she told me that she thought I was sweet. I knew what had to do and I did it. I went out of my way to drive her away from me. Finally she told me that she no longer like me even a little bit anymore. It broke my heart but I knew that I had kept her from being harmed by the monster within.
Then suddenly I had a period without any nightmares or fits of rage. It seemed as if the monster within had left for some reason. However, it did not stay away long. Then suddenly one day I could feel that it was back. When it came back it seemed as if it had brought along some of its buddies. Now I was no longer just afraid of killing someone in a fit of rage but also started becoming involved in all kinds of sexual perversion, doing things that could only be described as sick and twisted, and dabbling in occult activities like seances and astral projection. I became obsessed with hunting out other boys that were alienated from their parents and getting them interested in the occult to some degree through role playing games.
Every since the monster within had moved back in with his buddies I had thought about killing myself to protect others from the monster within. I attempted to do so several times but I would always hear this kind and gentle voice that would talk me out of doing so. The kind and gentle voice would ask me if I really wanted to hurt my mother and other relatives by killing myself. The kind and gentle voice would tell me if I did this then I would end up in Hell with no chance of escape. The kind and gentle voice also gave me a reason to hope that I could be the good man that I wanted to be and truly be free from the monster within.
You see the monster within could never take me over completely because there was something that it was no match for - praying grandmothers.
Their prayers were the reason that I heard the kind and gentle voice that put to silence the monster within when it spoke. They probably never knew all of the evil that their prayers had prevented me from doing. They must have been tempted to quit praying when I just seemed to get worse and worse but they persevered. They stood in the gap between me and the monster within.
They could not have known it but events were being set in motion to bring about the answer to their prayers.
I had a bed with a built in book shelf at the head of the bed. My grandfather had given me a Bible with a zippered cover that I kept on that book shelf. I had zippered it shut when he died and had not read it since. Then one afternoon when I was taking a nap I was awakened by a loud thud. That Bible was laying on my floor unzipped and opened to a passage with a list of death penalty sins in the Law of Truth (Torah aka The Law). I looked at the passage when I went to pick it up and I knew that I was guilty of more than one of those sins. I knew that I deserved death for what I had done.
However, knowing the penalty of my sins was not enough to keep me from continuing in them. I was still a slave to the monster within.
Then someone gave me a Good News translation of the Renewed Covenant (B'rit Chadashah aka New Testament) and I read all of it in one marathon sitting. Later I read it again over a period of several days. I really did not understand most of it but I did get three things out of it. First I learned that I was a worse sinner than I thought because the Father of Truth (YHVH aka God aka THE LORD) was not just looking at my actions but at my intentions. (Anyone that wants Him to judge them based on their intentions instead of their actions is lying to themselves about their intentions.) Second I learned that He expected me to end my sins and do what was right instead. Third I learned that the Man of Truth (Yeshua HaMashiach aka Jesus Christ) wanted all of me or none me. He would rather me serve the Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) full time than to serve him part time. My performance of religious duties like going to church each weekend were not of any value unless I lived for him full throttle ever day of the week.
This troubled me greatly. I had tried to turn from doing the wickedness that I did not want to do but I could not seem to stop even though I often cried while doing those things. I wanted to do the things that I knew were good but I kept finding myself not doing them when I had the chance. So I found that I did the evil that I did not want to do and that I did not do the good that I wanted to do. I simply could never be strong enough to conquer the monster within.
Then something happened to my cousin that changed everything. My cousin had been heavily involved in drugs, alcohol, smoking and the like. What I like to call garden variety sins. I had already personally known more than five people that had died from drug related causes. I have always been good at picking out patterns from repeated events so considering the hardness of the drugs he took I did not expect him to live to the age of twenty five.
Then suddenly, in the snap of a finger, he was completely free from all of it. There was no twelve step program and he did not have any withdraws from quitting any of it. It was as if the evil man that he had been was suddenly replaced with the good man that he now was. I knew that something supernatural was going on because no one that has been using heroine for years just gets up one morning and quits cold turkey with no withdraw symptoms. This defied everything that I had been told and experienced but yet the living proof was right there in front of me.
The good news was that he said that what had happened to him could happen to anyone. He told me that the Man of Truth had set him free from his own monster within. He told me that the Man of Truth would do the same for me if I would meet his condition of total surrender. He told me that if I would put the Man of Truth in charge of every area of my life then he would take the place of the monster within. This was not a matter of me somehow being strong enough on my own. This was a matter of the Man of Truth coming to live in me and he being strong enough to overcome the monster within.
For the first time I had a tangible reason for hope of being free from the monster within. However, his explanation contradicted everything that every religious professional I had ever talked to had told me. I had been told that Christians were just sinners saved by grace who were forgiven but still were slaves to a sin nature. They had nineteen hundred years of church tradition to back up their doctrine while my cousin only had his testimony of what the Man of Truth had done for him.
So I watched my cousin to see if it was real and if it would last. I even tempted him to go back to his old ways because I had to know if there was really hope for me. It soon became obvious that there was no going back for my cousin. (This was thirty years ago and he has never went back to any of it since that day. He has truly been set free.)
So on November thirteenth nineteen eighty two, shortly after midnight, I pulled my car over to the side of the road and took the deal. I cried like a baby while I listed each sin that I had committed, or had wanted to commit, while telling the Father of Truth how sorry I was. I told the Man of Truth that I no longer wanted to be in charge of my life and he was in charge of every area of my life from now on. It was total surrender.
My cousin had told me if I would do this then I would be set free by the Man of Truth. The good news is that it was true! In a moment of time, in the twinkling of an eye, Jesus came into my life and I no longer had to fight the monster within. It was suddenly all gone - the fits of murderous rage, the desire to hunt down and kill bullies, the sexual perversion, the pull of the occult on my soul, the sick and twisted acts, the constant thoughts of suicide along with everything else that came from the monster within and his buddies.
Instead I could hear that kind and gentle voice that had talked me out of so many terrible things, including suicide, now talking to me from the inside. (I did not know that this kind and gentle voice was the voice of the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) at the time.) The moment that kind and gentle voice came in was the moment of the total eviction for the monster within.
(The guy that I was giving a ride to when I pulled over must have been pretty freaked out by all of this. He had no idea of what I had done before this or what I been struggling against doing. He did not know about the monster within until that moment. The man that drove him home from that spot was not the same man that had pulled over to the side of the road.)
I had been a man possessed by the monster within but now I am a man possessed by the Man of Truth. I have been set completely and utterly free from the monster within. While I can be exposed to the same temptations on the outside there is no desire to do them on the inside. I feel no more temptation to do those things when I am in the same situations that I was in before then I do to pick up dog poop and eat it when I see it on the ground. I am dead to those things because the Man of Truth lives in me and he is dead to those things. As long as I live a life of total surrender to the Man of Truth then there is no chance of return for the monster within.
The Good News is that the same thing can happen to you. I have known about twenty five people that have had the same experience even if their monster within was different than mine. It does not matter if your monster within is overcoming you so that you commit garden variety sins like fornication or alcoholism or putting on a religious show or less common struggles like being on the road to becoming a serial killer. Anyone who will surrender control of every area of their life to the Man of Truth will be set free from the monster within.
Those of us that have been set free from the monster within are not unique or special in any way. The Book of Truth (The Bible) tells what really happened to those of us that have been set free from the monster within. Now it is time to look at the same events through the lenses of the Book of Truth.
The efforts of Miss Kim and others to help me were ineffective against the monster within because my problem was neither physical nor mental but rather spiritual (Ephesians 6:12).
When there is a monster within there are really have two forces at work to effect the behavior of the person. First of all their spirit lives in a human body that has no desire to do what is right even if their spirit wants to do what is right (Romans 7:18). The flesh wants to do every evil thing under the sun (Galatians 5:19-21).
Second of all there are Spirits of Lies (devils aka demons aka unclean spirits aka gods) that appeal to the nature of their flesh to do wrong just as the Father of Lies (HaShatan aka Satan aka The Devil) tried to tempt the Man of Truth to do wrong by appealing to the nature of his flesh (Matthew 4:1-3).
When someone yields to one of these Spirits of Lies by obeying them in disobeying the Father of Truth then they become slaves to that spirit who can lead them into certain types of sin (John 8:34). This Spirit of Lies can then move in and try to take control of their body by constantly appealing to the nature of their flesh (Romans 6:16). This Spirit of Lies that has moved in is the monster within.
These Spirits of Lies can cause everyone to be afraid of the people they inhabit (Matthew 8:28). The monster within can fill a person with rage so that they hurt other people (Acts 19:14-16).
The monster within can make the person stronger than they are on their own when it gets control (Mark 5:2-4). The monster within will cause them to isolate themselves, live strangely and hurt themselves (Mark 5:5). The monster within will drive them to attempt to commit suicide (Matthew 17:15-18). The Spirits of Lies will cause those that they have completely take over to kill themselves when they have no more ability to resist their influence (Mark 5:11-13).
Some Spirit of Lies can pass on information from other Spirits of Lies to the host person when they move in (Acts 16:16-19). Those that have the monster within will resort to the occult that is filled with other people who are puppets controlled by their own monster within (1 Samuel 28:6-8).
Sometimes the monster within will leave on its own if the conditions are not suiting it for some reason. For example when I chopped wood until I was exhausted whenever I felt the violent fits of rage coming on. However this absence of the monster within will only last for a little while like it did for me. When the monster within comes back and finds that everything has been cleaned up and there is still a vacancy it will move back in with some of its buddies and the person will be worse off than before (Matthew 12:43-45). Since I was still empty inside the monster within was able to move back in with his buddies and make me worse than I was before (Luke 11:24-26). This is why people get clean through some sort of self-effort for a while and then return to their former behavior to only end up even worse off.
People can never be free from the monster within on their own strength. They must be delivered from the terror of the monster within by the Man of Truth (Romans 7:24-25).
When my grandmothers prayed to the Father of Truth for my deliverance their prayers were not in vain because they had been made righteous by the Man of Truth (James 5:16).
Their prayers caused angels to be sent to literally wake me from my sleep with the Book of Truth and opened it to the Law of Truth. If it were not for the Law of Truth then I would not know that I was in bondage to sin through the monster within (Romans 7:7). It was the Law of Truth that made me aware of the true nature of the monster within and that I was deserving of death for giving in to it (Romans 7:8-11). It was the Law of Truth that convicted me of my sin and show me my true condition (Romans 7:12-14).
While I knew what the Law of Truth said was good still it only made me aware of how wretched I really was (Romans 7:22-24). The Law of Truth was powerless to make me able to obey it because my flesh was powerless against the monster within (Romans 8:3).
Since the Law pointed me to the Man of Truth it caused me to seek after deliverance by reading the Renewed Covenant twice (Galatians 3:24).
However, I could not understand what I needed to do because the religious professionals that I had sought out contradicted what I read in the Renewed Covenant in order to maintain their own traditions (Mark 7:9). Their traditions made the Word of Truth ineffective to deliver me because I could not believe what it said while also believing what they said (Mark 7:13). They were religious but they denied the power of the Man of Truth to set people free from continuing in sin so I needed to stay away from them (2 Timothy 3:5). They were powerless over the monster within because they clung to their traditions instead of believing the Word of Truth whereby they could truly know the Man of Truth (Acts 19:13-16).
However, three things were evident.
First, I would be judged on my intentions and not just my actions (Matthew 5:21-22). In the eyes of the Father of Truth hating bullies was no different than murdering bullies (1 John 3:15). Anyone who wants to be judged by their intentions is deceived about the condition of their own heart (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
Second, the Man of Truth demands that I repent and sin no more (John 8:10-11). This is the same thing that His Father demands (Ezekiel 18:21).
Third, the Man of Truth wanted me either serving him full time or serving the Father of Lies full time instead of just playing church on the weekend (Revelation 3:14-16). This was only reasonable since he had given everything at the cross (Romans 12:1).
This troubled me greatly. I found myself unable to do the good things I want to do but instead doing the evil things that I did not want to do because I was still under the control of the monster within (Romans 7:15-17). No matter how hard I try to do good I just ended up doing evil (Romans 7:19-21). The conflict between what I want to do and what I ended up doing when I knew that it would lead to my demise made me miserable (Romans 7:22-24). This kind of double mindedness made me unstable in everything that I did (James 1:8). I was tormented by a constant fear of completely giving in to the monster within because I did not have perfect love (1 John 4:18).
Then I saw proof that the Man of Truth was alive and living in my cousin. The deliverance of my cousin from his own monster within was a supernatural sign from the Father of Truth that I could not deny which made evident His wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:22). The change in my cousin was living proof of the power of the Man of Truth to deliver people from the monster within that I had about read in the Renewed Covenant (2 Corinthians 3:2-4).
My cousin told me that the Man of Truth would set me free from the monster within if I would submit to giving him control of every area of my life in total surrender - which is what it really means to be his disciple (John 8:30-32). If I became his disciple then I would have to put the Man of Truth in front of everyone else and everything else including my very life (Luke 14:26-27). I was told to count the cost before I made such a commitment because it would be of no value unless I was willing to give everything (Luke 14:28-30). I simply would not be accept as his disciple unless I was willing to forsake everything else in total surrender (Luke 14:33-35). Total surrender to the Man of Truth is the only way to be free from the monster within (Romans 6:15-18).
I watched for my cousin to see if he to return to his old ways. He never went back to his old ways because the Man of Truth had really set him free (John 8:34-36).
So I took the deal. The moment I submitted to the Man of Truth in total surrender the monster within became terrified because that Spirit of Lies knew he was coming (Mark 5:6-7). When the Man of Truth came into my life the monster within and its buddies went out (Mark 5:8-10). When I chose total surrender to the Man of Truth I was set free from the monster within (Romans 6:16-18). The Spirit of Truth came in and forced out the monster within (Romans 8:15-17). The perfect love that the Man of Truth had ended the tormenting fear that came from the monster within (1 John 4:17-19).
In that moment I began to truly live instead of just occupying space and sucking air (John 5:24). I became a new man with new desires and all of the desire to do the former things had passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17). I was dead to sin and alive to the Father of Truth (Romans 6:10-12). The Spirit of Truth began changing my thoughts, attitudes, and actions (Galatians 5:22-23). I no longer hated bullies but instead was overwhelmed with concern about telling them how they could be delivered from their own monster within (1 John 3:14).
Just as the monster within had kept me from doing what was pleasing to the Father of Truth so now the Man of Truth keeps me from doing what is pleasing to the Father of Lies (Romans 6:20-22). This is not a matter of me being strong enough on my own to meet the righteous demands of the Law of Truth but of the Spirit of Truth giving me the strength to do so (Romans 8:2-4). No one can do so in their own strength (Romans 8:6-8). It is living a life of total surrender to obey the Spirit of Truth (Ruach HaQodesh aka The Holy Spirit aka The Holy Ghost) that gives me that strength to live as a Child of Truth (Romans 8:12-14). This causes the Man of Truth to live inside me instead of the monster within (Galatians 2:19-21).
The monster within can only return to someone that is empty inside (Matthew 12:44-45). When I submitted to the Man of Truth in total surrender then the Spirit of Truth came in so that I was no longer empty inside (Romans 8:9-11). That Spirit of Lies cannot return because the Spirit of Truth that lives in me is greater than even the Father of Lies (1 John 4:4).
As long as I continue in total surrender to the Man of Truth by hearing and obeying the Spirit of Truth then I will not return to the behavior that allowed that Spirit of Lies to become the monster within (Galatians 5:16-18).
The Good News is that I am nothing special. It does not matter whether your monster within drives you to an addiction to pornography or alcohol or drugs or putting on a religious show or even becoming a serial killer. It is not about your abilities or your worthiness. It is about the ability and worthiness of the Man of Truth.
He will deliver you from your monster within if you submit to him in total surrender (Matthew 16:24-25). He will make you worthy to participate in his plan like he did Mary Magdalene after he delivered her from her own monster within and its buddies (Luke 8:1-3). He made her so clean that she was the first person that he revealed himself to after his resurrection (Mark 16:9). There is no condemnation for those that submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender (Romans 8:1).
The Father of Truth will deliver anyone from their monster within if they will surrender control of every area of their life to the Man of Truth (Acts 10:34-35). It does not matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile (Romans 2:10-12). Whether or not you are delivered from the monster within depends upon your willingness to submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender (Colossians 3:24-25).
Total surrender will cost you something in this life or maybe even everything in this life. You will lose relationships with other people and maybe even your property (Matthew 19:29). The religious professionals may kick you out of your congregation and persecute you in their religious zeal (John 16:2). You will suffer some type of persecution from other people (2 Timothy 3:12).
However, you should come into the House of Truth and take the deal. What good is for you to keep running your own life just to lose everything that you thought you had gained (Matthew 16:26-27)? If you insist on running your own life then the monster within will bring you to ruin (Mark 8:34-36). The Father of Truth has graciously given you an opportunity to be free from the monster within before it destroys you completely (Romans 6:23). What you lose in this life due to total surrender cannot compare to what you will gain by being free from the monster within (Romans 8:15).
All you need to do to come into the House of Truth where you will be free from the monster within is submit to the Man of Truth in total surrender because you believe that the Father of Truth raised him from the dead (Romans 10:8-10).
Come into the House of Truth.
Labels: Anger, Deliverance, Demons, Devils, Fear, Grace, Halloween, Hatred, Ozarks, Possession, Repentance, Revenge, Suicide
posted by The House Of Truth @ October 27, 2013
<< Home